Beef Blogonoff One bloggers beef with the entire universe, and has had enough of it!

The Federal Atmospheric Recovery Tax

Everyone has heard of Anthropomorphic or man made Global Warming, but have you heard of livestock made global warming? I am told the farting, and belching of livestock is a big contributor to greenhouse gases (no pun intended).  The government in it's infinite wisdom proposed legislation to tax the emissions of these bovine gas bags*. This tax was estimated to cost $175. per dairy cow, but it was rejected after owners threatened to alter livestock diet with BEANO to avoid the fee. Well what about senior citizens? Older people seem to pass more gas as they age so how about charging them a tax for their contribution to global warming. Proponents have suggested initiating the Federal Atmospheric Recovery Tax commonly known as F.A.R.T. The E.P.A. would set limits, and charges similar to taxing carbon emissions. Several methods of measuring flatus output have been suggested. Government Motors (G.M.) developed a specialized gas gauge, but you would charged for emptying your tank instead of filling it. This was unacceptable as the economically challenged would be walking around with stomach pains all day. The taxi and limousine commission suggested a meter like they have in cabs. You would pay 2.50 for the first fart, .25 for each additional fart, with no charge for the waiting time in between farts. This was voted down as taxi passengers would complain of double billing. The bridge and tunnel authority suggested a system like E-Z pass called E-Z gass. A radio frequency tag would measure each discharge like a car passing the toll plaza and electronically deduct money from your account. Already there has been religious opposition as to how and where the tag would be mounted. Of course I am being facetious, but with a 15 trillion dollar debt this congress will be forced to tax us to death or until they have sucked all the air out of us. They are currently considering the V.A.T. (Value Added Tax) it's possible the F.A.R.T. may not be far behind (pun  intended).

I can't gore Al, but I can knock him scentsless

*http://westinstenv.org/news/2008/11/20/epa-proposes-cow-fart-tax/