In their ongoing mission to milk it's citizens dry Congress has approved a tax on the flu vaccine. Already this fund has a 1.5 billion dollar surplus from taxing other vaccines, and at the current rate of payouts will be solvent for 25 years. Except for one thing, the fund is empty. Since it is invested in U.S. treasury securities it is actually used to pay down the debt. Well what if the there was a bird flu pandemic? Obviously there would be a greater chance the disease would cost more to treat than a reaction to a vaccine. Already the birdbrain flu has infected our leaders, and there is no fund to cure it.
Everyone has heard of Anthropomorphic or man made Global Warming, but have you heard of livestock made global warming? I am told the farting, and belching of livestock is a big contributor to greenhouse gases (no pun intended). The government in it's infinite wisdom proposed legislation to tax the emissions of these bovine gas bags*. This tax was estimated to cost $175. per dairy cow, but it was rejected after owners threatened to alter livestock diet with BEANO to avoid the fee. Well what about senior citizens? Older people seem to pass more gas as they age so how about charging them a tax for their contribution to global warming. Proponents have suggested initiating the Federal Atmospheric Recovery Tax commonly known as F.A.R.T. The E.P.A. would set limits, and charges similar to taxing carbon emissions. Several methods of measuring flatus output have been suggested. Government Motors (G.M.) developed a specialized gas gauge, but you would charged for emptying your tank instead of filling it. This was unacceptable as the economically challenged would be walking around with stomach pains all day. The taxi and limousine commission suggested a meter like they have in cabs. You would pay 2.50 for the first fart, .25 for each additional fart, with no charge for the waiting time in between farts. This was voted down as taxi passengers would complain of double billing. The bridge and tunnel authority suggested a system like E-Z pass called E-Z gass. A radio frequency tag would measure each discharge like a car passing the toll plaza and electronically deduct money from your account. Already there has been religious opposition as to how and where the tag would be mounted. Of course I am being facetious, but with a 15 trillion dollar debt this congress will be forced to tax us to death or until they have sucked all the air out of us. They are currently considering the V.A.T. (Value Added Tax) it's possible the F.A.R.T. may not be far behind (pun intended).
|Hope my time doesn't expire in the
middle of my session.
In Germany hookers need to pay a tax to ply their wares so some genius had meters installed in red light districts*. I was wondering if they do it in a parked car do they have to pay two meters?
Cash strapped local governments have been considering a number of new taxes. One is legalizing prostitution and having them pay taxes. Another is taxing cat owners a $25. fee which could bring in 2 billion dollars of revenue nationally. Either way only a pussy can save us from Moody's giving us the boot.