Orgasmatron
Thanks to technological advances there are a number of scientists who believe that very soon we will be able to produce robotic prostitutes. Hopefully not like the Star Wars character C3PO as I'm sure the exposed nuts and bolts would leave cuts and bruises. There is the obvious advantage that they are incapable of transmitting diseases since they are completely sterilized after each use. Kind of like the way your dentist autoclaves his instruments. Try that with a real life person, and you're likely go to jail. Dr Scholl might consider making an orthotic based on the profile of a man's penis which could then be programmed into his latex lover. In addition height, weight, breast size, and other features could be customized to create the perfect women. The only problem is the moral dilemma. How does one make love to a machine? If our wives faked an orgasm we would certainly be upset. How would we feel if our wives were completely fake?
You make me so hot I'm melting.
Real stimulus
Our states may be broker than aunt Mabel's hip, but politicians have come up with some interesting ideas to fill the coffers. Legalizing prostitution and collecting tax is one idea. Prostitutes will be issued a license from a newly appointed state agency. There will be a very rigid oral test, and a road test where applicants will have to perform some basic maneuvers with an examiner. It is the only test you can pass even if you get banged up. In addition there will be a yearly inspection for worn, and leaky equipment. Europe has already updated, regulated, and taxed the worlds oldest profession so pretty soon you may see a sign like the one in the picture. That's one shovel ready project that's a real stimulus.
Caution: Bumps in the road ahead.
Inflation and deflation
A beautiful French politician named Miss Dati issued an apology for a gaffe she made during a radio show. When questioned about overseas investment she said "I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25% at a time when fellatio is non-existent". She obviously confused fellatio (oral sex performed on a man) with inflation (an economic state of rising price in goods and services). You can't blame her since fellatio inflates a man's penis, and inflation causes a rise in the price of fellatio. Sort of a vicious cycle that eventually ends in deflation for men. Looks like prostitutes know more about economics then we give them credit for.
This politician is certainly the cause of inflation.
Times up
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| Hope my time doesn't expire in the middle of my session. |
In Germany hookers need to pay a tax to ply their wares so some genius had meters installed in red light districts*. I was wondering if they do it in a parked car do they have to pay two meters?
*http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/01/world/europe/01germany.html
Rabbi Yurin Trubble
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| Rabbi Yurin Trubble |
A prominent N.Y. Rabbi was caught on tape in bed with a prostitute. His wife Amora had hired a private investigator, and is now taking him to court to ask for sole custody of their children. She asked "Since when are prostitutes Kosher"? The Rabbi exclaimed what's wrong with paying a few shekels to have someone play with your shmekel?
- @BlackSheepDawg
@JohnG405 President of Veneuela: The butt stops (up) here.2013/05/24 18:08 by web - @Talkmaster
@jphawkins2009 Paying people to blow us up, that's progressive. Call for your benefits today.2013/05/24 18:53 by web - @DavidLimbaugh
@CarolHello1 There are only 2 letters difference between Hitler and Holder. Heil Holder!2013/05/24 17:33 by web - @DrMartyFox
But with Obamacare I can get an audit and a prostate exam at the same time.2013/05/24 11:30 by web - @reluctantzealot
Good thing Christians didn't attack the officer. They might have given him a paper cut from a Jesus loves you tract.2013/05/24 11:19 by web
