War and Peace
Rep. Dennis Kucinich renewed his call for a Federal Dept. of Peace. It will be located next door to the Dept. of Drone Technology which targets alleged terrorists, and innocent bystanders. It is opposite the Dept. of Gun Running which targets Mexican civilians, and occasionally Border Patrol agents. Down the hall is the Dept. of Kinetic Military Action which assists countries like Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Syria, and Uganda with high tech weapons to quash unrest in their countries. Overseeing it all will be a President who won the Nobel Peace Prize. If that's a formula for success than πr² (Pi r squared) calculates the area of a triangle.
Give peace a chance, or lung cancer.
Obsceneistan
Pakistan has published a list of words that will be forbidden in text messages because they are considered to be "obscene". Here is a sample:
Monkey crotch: For the life of me I can't figure why anyone would use this in a message unless they were at the zoo, and observing the masturbation habits of Macaques.
Head lights: This might be considered obscene because the slang form of the word means breasts. So how can the Pakistani Police issue a ticket when a vehicle's head light is broken if the word is forbidden? If you have a new vehicle with a car bra to protect it you could probably get stoned for having a bra and head lights.
Back door: Again this word is the slang expression for the anus, so it could be embarrassing if your front door is being fixed and you ask the local cleric to enter by the back door.
Hole: Sure it has a possible sexual connotations, but what if you fall into one in the middle of the desert, and can't text for help?
Taxi: If the word is banned then how the hell do you hail one? Apparently in Pakistan this word also means prostitute. I knew her meter was running too fast.
Fart: It's interesting that the country of Malawi tried to ban farts altogether. I guess the Paki's realized that was ridiculous so they tried to ban the word. The word may be gone, but the stink still lingers.
Jesus: Of course Jesus would be obscene. He advocates peace, and love, and hates evil. I could see where this makes perfect sense. To them anyway.
Next time text cab instead of taxi. They're beating the crap out of me!
Those wacki packi’s
The name "Pakistan" means land of the pure, or of the spiritually clean in Urdu and Persian. It is only natural that they have banned websites that have been deemed offensive or blasphemous. So what do their citizens google when they are on the internet? In addition to the normal beheading, stoning, torture and anti-American video's they love their porn. Not just normal sex between man and women, but horse, donkey, rape, dog and animal sex in general. I never knew the "hump on a camel" was a reference to the owners intention.
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/07/12/data-shows-pakistan-googling-pornographic-material/
- @johnhawkinsrwn
When Joe Biden accidentally had butt plugs implanted in his skull instead of hair plugs he bought a new #AssHat2013/05/21 19:12 by web - @9746LAK
She should get that vaccination to prevent old age that death row criminals get.2013/05/21 19:33 by web - @texasmcmanus
@CelesteHerget @NBCDFW Nidal Hasan already received the death penalty. He'll be dead of old age before the trial starts.2013/05/21 19:28 by web - @middlemom
Vermont uses lethal injection, and it is about as dignified as killing a criminal on death row. Minus that special last meal.2013/05/21 19:18 by web - @keder
Sheldon Whitehouse: NASCAR causes tornadoes by driving in circles.2013/05/21 15:49 by web
