Non-Braking News 3/3/13
Our weekly roundup of top stories begins with:
Some conservatives complained when Michelle Obama crashed the Academy Awards ceremony. I think it's perfectly natural considering she won an Academy Award for Best Visual Defects.
A terrible accident at the Daytona 500 caused 33 people to be injured. A participant at the tailgate party ran out of propane for his barbecue and mistakenly filled it with auto fuel. The explosion was heralded as the world's first redneck particle accelerator.
The elderly are having more sex than ever, and as a result the C.D.C. says they are getting more S.T.D's. It may be hard to believe, but old people are as reckless having sex as they are driving.
Ca. may require a prison to hire a Wiccan (pagan priest) for two witches that are incarcerated there. Between the Muslim and witch converts taking place in their prisons they should be called incorrectional facilities.
Maxine Waters said the sequester could cost 170 million jobs. That certainly would be devastating in a economy that has only about 140 million jobs. She has received criticism over her lack of economic wisdom, but she can add to the deficit, multiply the debt, and divide the races. That's how Maxine does finance.
Recently President Obama declared "I'm not a dictator." I prefer to think of him as the first Negro Nero who fiddles with his golf clubs while America burns. That's our top stories of the week roundup.
Non-Braking News: All the news that won't slow you down
Juicy Culture
I never knew public nudity is legal in San Francisco. The one exception is if you are aroused. If you are a man you could probably plea bargain that it was just a piss hard on and will pass with a potty break. The bigger question is how can you determine if a female nudist is aroused? Erect nipples may just be the product of a stiff wind, and the stain left behind on a chair may be just a monthly discharge. This unsanitary condition has led to the barrier proposal. Basically nudists would have to provide a protective barrier when they place their genitals and anus on a public bench, chair, or in restaurants. Well I certainly support that proposition, but what took them so long? California has some of the strictest regulations concerning pollution, sanitation, waste removal, and are only now confronting the bacterial contamination by their own residents. They are also requiring that nudists who testify at City Hall must cover up. The one chance they could get people to freely volunteer for jury duty and they blew it.
I hear the beef is excellent
I vant to suck your blood
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| Blood sucking politicians |
California is being over run by diseased blood sucking animals*. No I'm not referring to the politicians who are draining the bank accounts of it's citizens, and killing jobs by raising taxes. I'm talking about rabid bats that are infecting humans at an alarming rate. You would think the government would do something about it, but bats are a protected species and can't be harmed in any way. The sheer lunacy of this state is without equal, and explains why it's bat brained representative Barbara Boxer said concerning humans who died of rabies "...those who died, their lives will never be the same again"**.
*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2017791/Californias-flying-horror-Surge-KILLER-bats-stalking-residents-animals.html
**Quote originally attributed to San Francisco earthquake vitims.
The bird brain of Alcatraz
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A prison doctor in California earned over $777,000. last year*. The problem is he is mentally ill, was once fired for incompetence, and hasn't been allowed to treat a patient for 6 years because he might kill them. Have they ever considered he might actually be an inmate? It sounds like the psychos are running the insane asylum. The doctor is currently working in the mail room, but the prisoners are complaining he loses packages as often as he loses patients.
*http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-prison-doctor-20110713,0,5931598.story
- @DrMartyFox
But with Obamacare I can get an audit and a prostate exam at the same time.2013/05/24 11:30 by web - @reluctantzealot
Good thing Christians didn't attack the officer. They might have given him a paper cut from a Jesus loves you tract.2013/05/24 11:19 by web - @jphawkins2009
@RightWingArt Great pic! Rumored Al Jazeera to buy MSNBC for a first round draft dodger pick and a traitor to be named later2013/05/24 03:56 by web - @Anewhomestar
@ConservaDeb @TGowdySC There is bi-partisan support for Holder to be axed, but a machete will do.2013/05/24 02:19 by web - @jphawkins2009
"Only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a liberal with a sign."2013/05/24 02:33 by web
